My Fatherhood Philosophy: Bodyguards, New Cycles & Old Lessons

I am a father, and my philosophy on fatherhood is simple. I’m my child’s bodyguard. As you know, a bodyguard isn’t able to slip at any point or else that could mean the demise or harm to his client. As I see the world spiral into seeming chaos, I have no recourse but to assume the the role of the bodyguard. So serious is my creed, my beautiful daughter believes my truck is bulletproof. I’m glad her imagination has lead her to such a vivid place. “Bug” is an awesomely cool and creative 7-year-old kid that loves life. She’s one that feels completely safe when with her Daddy, in the vehicle or outside of it.

In many respects, she’s my boss. As her bodyguard the clientele is the most important facet of the job. The security leads the way, always on the look out for trouble. They are keenly observant. They listen and see all around them. And, frankly, even when you don’t see them, they are often in the back just in case some foolishness pops off.

This approach doesn’t mean that my daughter will somehow be deprived of life’s experience or not be permitted to overcome her own adversities. It simply means, I am there at all times and I’m ready for whatever.

Sadly, I lost my “bodyguard” far too soon.

My father’s death is the ultimate paradox. While, I miss him with every fiber of my being, I am certain as the sun is hot that I would not be where I am had he lived. When my father died, I wasn’t even close to being a man mentally – the ultimate late bloomer. I thought I knew how I would respond to his dying (when we didn’t know if he would make it), which was succumbing to various forms of insanity. None of that happened, fortunately. Something else occurred. My ship found a sail and a direction after Dad died. I internalized lessons that had no meaning before. But more than anything, I found the motivation to strive towards my own greatness. Interestingly, I’ve never used a “Hip-Hop” name, due in great part because I am my father’s namesake. And I wanted people to know the name Charles Creekmur.

But as I reflect on my father, I’ve come to know him more and more, because I see him in my maneuvers with my own child. My father was the ultimate protector, even when I didn’t know he was. I do remember vividly my dad sleeping in our station wagon car with his rifle to fend off racist vandals. We were one of three Black families that broke the color barrier in a well-hidden, back woods neighborhood in suburban Newark, Delaware. There were those that resisted these bold moves back in the late 1970’s. In other instances, we may have ended a scuffle with other neighborhood kids like this: “Go ‘head and get yo’ daddy.” My dad was a pretty big man, standing a solid 6′ 2″ and weighing 250 pounds. Those kids’ daddies didn’t want that problem. They probably saw their father as a bodyguard too.

But, it wasn’t about silly fights. My dad was a great man, one of the millions of unheralded, unrecognizable Black men that America has failed to acknowledge. Reverend Russell, formerly of Simpson United Methodist Church in Delaware, once told me, “You’ll be lucky to be half the man your father was.” This was well after I had received some measure of success and notoriety with He wasn’t talking about that success. He was talking about father, husband…the man.

Like bodyguards, being a man – a real father – is often selfless work, where your job is putting somebody else’s  life before your own. It means the sacrifices you make in life will be rewarded based on the deed itself, even when acts of good will are overlooked. Furthermore, it is understood that one may not even bear witness to the affects of such benevolence.

If I raise a princess, then the theory is that she is going to create a prince or a princess. I’m going to pass along all that I deem positive and exceptional to her and she will too – and so on and so forth. Conversely, if the youth are debased, the cycle will likely continue for generations. Sadly, 64% of African American households are headed by single women, one statistic says. What many fathers don’t conceptualize is the effect their actions have on their families and their future families. We always apply this notion to inter-generational wealth, but not how we rear our children.

These days, I maintain the opinion that far too many fathers of our generation want to be the “client” and not the bodyguard. While most of us want adulation, attention and respect, we’ve got to prioritize and understand that the fruits of “grind” are not worth the price of the youth we raise. Moreover, a real father and a real man, can manage the personal with the professional so the kids (and the rest of the village) can be proud. If you aren’t there, the money or the prestige is meaningless.

I’m far from perfect, but as the bodyguard of my only child, I will forever be armed to the teeth. Armed with education. Armed with the experiences of my father. Armed with passion. And armed with unconditional love.

Peace and respect to all the bodyguards as we celebrate Father’s Day.


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  • behind da barz

    --------the chemicals R identical, we're one & the same / with 7 letters in all 3 of my government names / walked on water, nah, neither did jesus / its a parable to make followers & readers believers--------i gave her my honorable discharge & she took it like a soldier--------what's a black beetle anyway, a fuckin roach-------she told the director she tryna get in a school-he said "take them glasses off and get in the pool"---------what ya'll call swag to me is faggotry-------my outfit so disrespectful / u go 'head n sneeze let my presence bless u--------its quite amazing that u rhyme like u do / & how u shine like u grew up in a shrine in peru-------its hard fuckin with niggaz u hope u can trust / ure a fool if ure main bitch is easy to fuck--------beyond the walls of intelligence life is divine / i think of crime when im in a new york state of mind - ------THE WAY SOME ACT IN RAP IS KINDA WACK / IT LACKS CREATIVITY & INTELLIGENCE / BUT THEY DON'T CARE BECAUSE THEIR COMPANY IS SELLING IT / ITS MY PHILOSOPHY ON THE INDUSTRY--------From days I wasn't "Abel/able", there was always "Cain/caine-------know how to leave anything in 30 seconds / when you feel the heat coming & flee with the murder weapon--------ayo my silent moments' loud as the crack of thunder / my hunger like the crocodile that attacked the hunter-------i'm something between platinum & flop, underground & mainstream / conscious, backpack, scratch dat; same thing---------this phiscal year im'a stay hot, buzzin / wit dudes that help me shoot like a-rod's cousin-------i fight chicks who bite dicks / give 'em lock-jaw then make 'em fight pits ------all we see is terrorism on telievision ------i'm da illest nigga alive watch me prove it / i'll snatch your crown with your head still attatched to it ------slap your face till your head ache your neck break / the next day slash your throat thru the neckbrace ------ I'm ahead of the game, ahead of these lames / I'm a head case, the head nurse gets me better with brain ------ure now dealin with da kid who heat-holds & reloads / like god gave him a gta ammunition cheat-code ------once upon a time i used to grind all night / with dat coke residue that was ipod white ------ --i took trips with so much shit in the whip / that if the cops pulled us over the dogs would get sick (sniff) ------ i put my lifetime in between the paper's lines / i'm da quiet storm nigga who fight rhyme ------brain cells are lit ideas start to hit / next the formation of words dat fit / at da table i sit making it legit / when my pen hits da paper...aah shit -------i save money while u spendin ure doe / i must stash like da hair between your lip & your nose ------age don't count in the booth / when your flow stayed submerged in the fountain of youth -------when i'm writing i'm trapped in between the lines / i escape when i finish da rhyme - ------if we can't eat together then u aint my mans / so when u see me in da streets dont shake my hand- -----money is da root of all evil / dats why u always gotta now where u stand with your people--------i can show u how to gamble your money, handle a gun / & be a family man & go home to your sun- -------black diamonds in my jesus-piece / MY GOD-------its like da ball be over the plate & they dont call it a strike- ------i'm a gangsta & a gentleman, show you both sides of the coin / knife at your throat-gun at your groin- --------my testimonial be "death to a phony mc / you wanna impress me, show me a ki--------lord knows what homey would do if i showed him da 9 / a one-eyed man is king in the land of the blind--------on da road to riches & diamond rings / in the land of the blind a man with one eye is the king--------you lack the minerals & vitamins, iron & the niacin--------stares get exchanged then the 5th come out / the tough guy disappears then the bitch come out--------if you got a bith you dont argue with dat bitch / you dont listen to dat bitch all you do is fuck dat bitch-------know da bitch b4 you call yourself lovin it / nogga wit a benz fuckin it------went from $20Gs for blow to $30gs a show / to orgies wit hoes i never seen befo'-------i'm intelectual; passed more essays / than police motorcade parades thru east l.a.-------DEAD IN THE MIDDLE OF LITTLE ITALY LITTLE DID WE KNOW / WE RIDDLED SOME MIDDLE-MAN WHO DIDN'T DO DIDDLY-------visualizing the realism of life in actuality / fuck who's da baddest; a person's status depends on salary-------mechanical movement, understandable smooth shit / that murderers move with-the thief's theme--------DEEP LIKE "THE SHINING" SPARKLE LIKE A DIAMOND / SNEAK AN UZI ON DA ISLAND IN MY ARMY JACKET LINING / HIT THE EARTH LIKE A COMET - INVASION / NAS IS LIKE THE AFRO-CENTRIC ASIAN; ½ MAN, ½ AMAZING-------& why certainly i'm squirtin / bust a nut then get up & wipe my dick on your curtain-------walk by your casket & spit in your face--------i know how to get my peers off me / make 'em cry & die from high blood-pressure cuz tears are salty-------i'm not trying to give you love & affection / i'm tryna give you 60 seconds of erection / then im'a give you cab fare & directions / get your independent ass outta here - question?---------black cat is bad luck; bad guys wear black / must've been a white guy who started all that--------either you're slinging crack-rocks or you got a wicked jumpshot--------all us blacks got is sports & entertainment--------2 many athletes, actors & rappers / but not enough niggaz at nasa - ------why did bush knock down the towers?--------I REACT LIKE MIKE / ANY ONE TY-SON, JOR-DAN, JACK-SON / action, pack gunz, ridiculous--------all the teachers couldn't reach me & my mom couldn't beat me / hard enough to make up for my pop not seeing me---------kings from queens, from queens comes kings / we're raising hell like a class when the lunch bell rings---------excuse me miss, can i give you a minute? / may i buy you a glass of ice with liquor in it?--------what goes around comes around i figure / now we got white kids calling themselves nigga / the tables turn as the crosses burn...---------YOU LOVE TO HEAR THE STORY AGAIN & AGAIN / OF HOW IT ALL GOT STARTED WAY BACK WHEN--------i guess they got a grudge cause i won't budge / playin tough, staring down the judge with my hands cuffed---------A CHILD IS BORN WITH NO STATE OF MIND / BLIND TO THE WAYS OF MANKIND--------who shot biggie smalls? if we don't get them they gon' get us all / i'm down to run up pn them crackers in their city hall----------its kinda hard to be optimistic / when your homey is laying dead in a casket----------they say the blacker the berry; the sweeter the juice / i say the darker the flesh; then the deeper the roots---------i took your breath away then we'd perform cpr---------there's no real way it can be explained / i guess its just the way i smile when i hear your name--------CASH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND ME / C.R.E.A.M. GET THE MONEY, DOLLAR DOLLAR BILL Y'AAAAALL------------see I’m a poet to some, a regular modern day shakespeare / jesus christ the king of these latter day saints here / To shatter the picture in which of that as they paint me as / a monger of hate and satan a scatter-brained atheist--------i remember marvin gaye used to sing to me / he had me feeling like black was the thing to be------------this be that put-you-out-your-misery song / that makes you ask your man 'is this the joint he's dissin me on?'---------foul all your life now ure 90 / on ure death bed u regret being grimey---------INDUSTRY RULE #4080, RECORD COMPANY PEOPLE ARE SHAAADYYYY / so kids watch your back cause i think they smoke crack---------society's a weak excuse for a man-----------planet earth my place of birth / born to be the sole controller of the universe---------the mic had my prints, on on it was a body---------a squealer tells, but the dealer still sells---------some young male put in jail / lawyer so good his bail was on sale----------i'm just takin a piss......unless you're gonna do it----------fuck street clothes, we thug it out in tuxedos / stomp niggaz with hard bottoms in casinos--------people higher up have the lowest self-esteem / & the prettiest people do the ugliest things-----------IF YOU ADMIRE SOMEONE YOU SHOULD GO 'HEAD & TELL 'EM / PEOPLE NEVER GET THE ROSES WHILE THEY CAN STILL SMELL 'EM-----------goddamn, what a nigga gotta do to make a million / without the fbi catching feelings--------i got a story to tell / in these streets we got drugs & guns for sale---------we keep the nine tucked chop dimes up rap about it / wild out fuck niggaz up laugh about it---------- read between tha lines of ya eyes and ya brows / ya handshake aint matchin ya smile---------what the fuck i rap for? to push a fuckin rav-4?-------fuck all the glamour & glitz, i plan to get rich / i'm from new york & never was a fan of the knicks----------the white boy blossomed after dre endorsed him / his flow on renegade-fuckin awesome...applaud him-------before i start you know i gotta / pay homage & respects to afrika bambaata---------DRUGS IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS / MONEY IS THE KEY TO SEX------i pimped my crib so i must exhibit------- I - WILL - NOT - LOSE !
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